When God speaks a promise into your life, there’s a sense in your heart like you’ve got a holy card in your hand that no one knows about; you’ve got grace in spades. You have to hold onto that because faith isn’t an intellectual pursuit; it’s throwing off the constraints of what we see with our natural eyes and choosing to trust the One who sees everything. When the timetable for the funding stalled, we were walking through another cycle of what it means to have faith. Faith isn’t about great size or unwavering certainty because, again, the confidence of truly knowing isn’t faith. If our faith was purely about magnitude, it would be about us. By telling us to have faith even as small as among the smallest of seeds, Jesus calls us to do what is possible in our humanity. Even tiny, miniscule faith is a platform for Him because when God moves, it’s about Him, not us.
A part of us feared that this could be like our big move that never happened. That uncertainty, at times, made us feel very small. And sometimes, very silly. And so very out of our league. I’d walk around our apartment some days saying Exodus 14:14 over and over. We were working so many hours round the clock trying to keep up with the pace of work and our little family. Our little apartment was now a hub for two business ventures and various side projects we had going on as well. There were days we felt so stressed with our towering to-do lists that we literally felt like the best way to breathe would have been to sit down and breathe into a paper bag.
Even writing this #write31days series was a faith journey in and of itself as I cycled through old hurts and disappointments along each of our unexpected career paths that had pointed us toward starting businesses.
Our businesses, though, weren’t about us. Their successes or failures weren’t about us. If they were—why try? Why do this? Why make this so difficult on ourselves?
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” — Ephesians 6:12 NIV
If the water-soaked offering that Elijah set up hadn’t burst into Holy flames, it would be a story about Elijah. If Daniel hadn’t been spared in the den, it would be a story about Daniel. If Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego had been consumed in the furnace, it would be a story about the three of them.
Instead, their stories are about God.
When you’re in the midst of a difficult situation, being persistent in prayer can feel like some sort of revelation…or merely that thing you do. That struggle can be daily, hourly, or in between breaths.
I struggled with whether or not to write this story because it’s frankly difficult to write in-progress stories. As I was pre-writing posts and organizing this series, there was a night my husband was trying to keep our spirits up as we awaited news of what was to come for one of our business ventures as that—and so much more—hinged on the promised funding. He laid on the floor as our daughter played. He was being silly, pretending that looking at the ceiling texture was like finding shapes in clouds. With a weary but hopeful smile, I joined him. After laughing about gingerbread men and giraffes, we paused and then saw it. There was a double rainbow outside the window, just high enough we wouldn’t have seen it had we not stopped within our busy flurry to just be.
It was so high up, that I’m sure had we not been on the floor looking up we’d have missed it entirely. That perspective says so much.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” — Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV
The first of more rainbows that kept popping up during a rainy few days, it’s easy to see why a rainbow would have been so awe-inspiring and comforting to Noah. The sheer brilliance of a rainbow—the sheer unnecessary-ness of a rainbow—makes it comforting knowing that even when everything looks like a wasteland, even when nothing seems to be turning out in a way we’d have chosen, God is still painting promises.
This is part 29 of 31 in a personal story participating in the Write 31 Days Challenge. To start at the beginning or to see all the posts in order, click here. If you want to follow along, follow on social media or subscribe as a reader to Eclectic Affinity.
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