I hadn’t expected the path of being an entrepreneur—or even doing art and design—to be an easy one, but I also hadn’t hoped it would have been quite so heartbreaking or soul bearing. An often-hard reality about starting a business is that much of your wisdom comes by learning ways of how not to do something simply because you’re trying to get opposing forces to meet in harmony—timing and preparedness. You can’t control good timing or circumstances. Your great ideas need time to simmer while your skill needs time to grow. Harder still is that you’re doing all you can to keep your head above water while meeting deadlines and bills through various side projects in addition to your main business.
Not everything happens for a reason, but everything is something God can use for our benefit. I used to spend so much time trying to consider in hindsight what I could have done differently to avoid this career and financial strain we’d found ourselves in. I hadn’t wanted the unpredictability of starting a business, least of all starting one with so many unknowns. It required, again, more faith. For all my careful planning, I couldn’t have prevented how things worked out or how the economy changed. Lots of grads all over the country (with different degrees and graduation dates), were in exactly the same boat I was, some even going back to school for other degrees or changing career course entirely.
I recall one day when I finally felt a layer of grace fall over me on this. Instead of thinking of all this as merely a detour, I hit a point of resolve in knowing I needed to trust in God, His timing, and consider that this could be, in fact, part of the road—not a detour. I needed to consider that the same God who fulfilled the dreams He gave to Joseph years after He gave those dreams to him, that that same God would fulfill His purposes in my life, whether or not I understood them or the path that I was on. God is always bigger than my circumstances, bigger than my choices, bigger than when I’ve done wrong or been wronged. He’s always bigger than my good days, my bad days, and bigger than my sin. If He’s bigger than all those things, He could certainly handle this.
When I was a child, I used to hope that if something was God’s will that it ought to fall meticulously into place in a way that would make sense to me. That’s not what’s in the Bible is it? Not even close, but the God who sees everything, also sees how it will come together. It makes sense to Him. He knows the rescue we need before we know we need it. Even in Eden, God had a rescue plan when humanity chose a tree that glorified ourselves over Him. Amidst perfection and before the sweat of our brows had become how our earthly needs were met, God redeemed that situation by allowing us to choose and be saved by the right tree through grace. Grace covers so very much. Grace covers us and our circumstances if we let it, and in that, so much is possible—even if circumstances feel impossible.
I’d never have started a business this young had things not turned out just how they did. It’s one thing to follow God’s call when there’s very little risk. It’s entirely another to say “I’m all in.” Circumstances can create courage out of necessity. Where there had been the faith to have a toe dipped into the water to see if the water was warm was now a cannon ball landing deep into that water regardless of the temperature.
This is part 8 of 31 in a personal story participating in the Write 31 Days Challenge. To start at the beginning or to see all the posts in order, click here. If you want to follow along, follow on social media or subscribe as a reader to Eclectic Affinity.
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