Working from home isn’t quite as glamorous or relaxing as people like to think that it is. Every moment counts, so for as much as I admire the entrepreneurs and freelancers who can maintain a work/life balance, there are seasons in your business when that’s often a far cry from reality.
I still remember once when the delivery guy came. With him came one more moment of that self-loathing feeling that a business owner encounters from time to time. A different guy than usual, cardboard package in hand, he quizzically asked “Charm Design Studio?” There was a barely concealed hint of irony to his voice—not that I blamed him as I stood there. Makeup-less. Barefoot. Unwashed hair flung to the top of my head with a plastic clip and wearing whatever my pregnant self could fit into without doing laundry again—this all against the backdrop of the chaotic mess laid out behind me in our small apartment.
The apartment with the hopeful month-to-month lease.
The apartment with the takes-up-half-the-apartment photo light box for product shots.
The apartment that mostly contained more square-footage devoted to office and studio space than living space.
“How ‘charming,’” I thought to myself. I returned a resigned smile, thanked him for delivering the package, and closed the door to open the supplies I’d ordered for my next project. One more project and not enough hours in the day. I dove back into the digital and physical mess, hoping to come up for air after the next big project. “Self-loathing in Sweatpants” seems like a good title for some sort of freelancer or work-at-home manifesto—or perhaps the title of a book on being an entrepreneur à la MacGyver in an apartment that sometimes felt claustrophobically the size of a shoebox some days.
In many ways, I suppose I can see why some think a scenario like this to be crazy. Had even those applications been fruitful, it seemed it would have been simpler to give up on this dream, to don a cashier’s apron, and to lull my soul to sleep with the chipper beep of a scanner gun after pondering whether or not to light my diploma on fire as purely a symbolic gesture. Yet, I couldn’t quite seem to give up on this dream. It’s like it just wouldn’t give in and die. Of course, when you run out of other options, you develop a kind of courage to pursue difficult things out of necessity.
Life is so short to give up on the thing that you feel burning deep within your soul. Think on this for a second—how many people do you know who didn’t give up on their dreams?
This is part 16 of 31 in a personal story participating in the Write 31 Days Challenge. To start at the beginning or to see all the posts in order, click here. If you want to follow along, follow on social media or subscribe as a reader to Eclectic Affinity.
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